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Church President Reports Special Widow/Widowers Retreat

Church President Dr. Michael Balcomb reflects on his appointment to a leadership role one year ago. He thanks brothers and sisters for their patience and continual support. Dr. Balcomb also reports about a special retreat he attended for 14-15 widows and widowers of the Unification movement who gathered at a member’s home in Delaware. Several of the retreat attendees share their experiences at the retreat and their situation as widows/widowers.


Comments (4)
  • Alice Cheney Boutte - Thank you, retreat organizers & Dr. Balcomb
    I am so glad such a gathering could finally take place for these widows and widowers who have been going such a lonely separate course in our strong "family" FF culture. Others cannot understand their course or even how to support them, and often their trinity families are far away doing mission or tribal messiah work that calls them to their unique locations. But spiritual trinities with other widows or widowers nearby do make sense which is what Father was encouraging, I think. If our larger society can form support groups for bereaved widows/widowers/parents who have lost children then certainly our FF can.....and we have had small week-end retreats on a few occasions and online support groups through BFA in the past 6-7 years which have been helpful in feeling less alone with losing a loved one.

    But I am very grateful to see this larger gathering taking place with the support and attention of our FF president, Michael Balcomb, as well. There could hopefully develop some guidelines for all our BCFs to prepare better for death in the future by making sure all our members have legal wills prepared (this can be done with no cost by going online to www.totallegal.com) and hopefully life insurance started by parents by the time they are in their late 40's or 50's (the earlier you start the less it costs each year). Life insurance as well as donations by our BCFs for those recently suffering a loss can make a big difference in helping a recent widow or widower. We must learn to be able to talk about death preparations more naturally with each other...and that is easier to do when we have such a strong belief in life after death. Perhaps each district will be able to form something like a Spirit World Prep/Hospice/Post-Seung Hwa Support ministry of some kind.

    I'd also like to suggest that each district also create a committee or ministry to encourage the recording of testimonies of their elder members and finding ways to recognize and respect their elders during holidays, ceremonies, pledge services, perhaps as non-voting supporters and observers of council meetings, etc. Many of our members will pass away in the coming years (and already have !) with no written or spoken record of their incredible journeys with True Parents. Not only will their children and grand children lose much out of ignorance of their life histories but so will the larger FF community and maybe eventually the larger society and nation as well. Only 4 of Jesus' 12 disciples ever could record their experiences with him. How much more would history have understood of him if they had all had their experiences written or recorded.

    Well, I finally got that off my chest !! Thank you all again for getting this vital ball rolling, dear pioneering widows and widowers and Dr. Balcomb ! Alice Boutte
  • Jon Quinn
    Well said, Alice. You've given us lots to think about. Good advice!
  • Jon Quinn - Trinities
    When Father was 80 years old he spoke to members in Hawaii. I was there at the time. One thing he did was tell two brothers who were widowers (One was Joe Tully and the other the head of the fish business there) to live together in one house and help each other. One of the brother’s 10-year-old son was sitting nearby and Father asked him if he could love the children of the other family more than his own brothers and sisters. The correct answer was supposed to be "yes" but he said he didn’t think he could. Father laughed when the boy said this and then told him to try to love the other family more than his own when they moved in together. These two brothers did not do as Father asked.

    Father teaches that we should live as trinities and trinities to live in communities. We have never done this but we should. Father has no interest in big government social security schemes, big church social security schemes, or big business insurance companies. He is for decentralization of power and support to the family and communities. When the UM lives as trinities it will grow in spirit and numbers.

    "When one husband dies, the trinity should be responsible for the household of his family. From now on, we are to manage three households together; we are not to live alone. When the time comes, three households should be run together." (Blessing and Ideal Family Part 2)
  • Josefa Tegha - Rev. Dr.
    Thank you so much, Dr. Balcomb for such deep care of the forgotten brothers and sisters!
    Please, continue the Good Works!
    Georges Tegha.
  • edy iversen - Thank You Dr.. Balcomb
    Words cannot express my gratitude to you for your beautiful heart and efforts to understand the suffering plight of the widows and widowers in our church. They and their children, after many years of sacrifice are many times forgotten and neglected and find themselves at a complete loss spiritually and financially after the death of their spouses. In spite of the temporary glory of the "Seung Hwa", the oftentimes reality of their life afterwards is miserable and the suffering of their children traumatic.

    I pray that our church will develop an authentic substantial program for internal guidance, counseling, support spiritually and financially for those families who need it. Also, that we will address the issue of comfort blessings in a realistic and positive manner for those who have chosen this path or feel it is necessary for their own spiritual survival.

    God bless you for your tremendous efforts to address the problems in our church and try to seek solutions in a positive way. You are a wonderful leader and inspiration, not just for America but for the world.

    With gratitude,

    Edy Iversen
    Founding member
    Ascended Families Association Intl.
    UPF France

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